Video Game Vacations

Summer is about to wrap itself up but there is still some time left to take a vacation. Financial hard times have hit almost all of us this summer. To those of us who are lucky enough to be able to afford a nice vacation, kudos! I hope you enjoy yourself!

There are still some of us who can’t push together a pile of green big enough to hit the airlines and hotel rooms this year, but we still have some valuable vacation time to use up. And we still want to escape from our everyday lives, even if just for a few days. That’s why I propose taking a video game vacation.

So get your travel itineraries warmed up. Here are some video game vacation destinations that will make you feel like you’ve gone somewhere without ever leaving your home.

The Adventure Package with Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion

Thanks to its rolling hills, beautiful countryside, Oblivion is the first destination on probably many people’s lists. Want to go for a horseback ride? You can do that. Feel like shopping downtown? You can do that too. Want to live the outcast life of a vampire or explore every cave and ruin you find? That’s all within your reach with Oblivion.

Thanks to its many expansions, Oblivion will easily steal you away from reality for 100 hours or more if you let it all for less than the cost of a dinner at a mid-range restaurant, or tickets for two at your local movie theater. If you’re tired of vanilla Oblivion, there are countless modifications that can change your experience for free. Some, like Oscuro’s Oblivion Overhaul, will almost make Oblivion a brand new game for even experienced players.

The Zone-Out Package with Super Metroid Mixed with Tetris

This next vacation getaway comes as a recommendation from Dan Lindalman. Super Metroid will deliver that feeling of being on an island (or in this case; planet) of your own. Depending on your skill level and number of previous playthoughs, Super Metroid might only take you an afternoon to complete which is why it is important to supplement your playthrough with some light-to-medium doses of Tetris… the world’s most addictive game. Drop a square here. Make a line there and watch the hours roll by.

The Bed and Breakfast Package with the Silent Hill Series

Not everyone needs to be surrounded by serene environments and babbling brooks to feel relaxed. There are many would rather go on a dark mystery adventure instead. If you like cozy, small towns and women with 4 legs and no head or men with hats… big pyramid-shaped hats, then I recommend a Silent Hill series vacation. Starting with the original Silent Hill and working your way through the most recent Silent Hill Homecoming will take any gamer a few days to work their way through all the dark corridors and solve every puzzle. With multiple endings to each game, replay might be an option for a brave few.

Most of the Silent Hill games are still available to rent either through Gamefly or your local rental store. What are you waiting for? Call off a week of work, kick your feet up and crap your pants in fear! The best part is, after the week, you might be glad to go back to work with “normal” humans and use the non-rust covered restrooms.

The Tropical Getaway Package with Crysis and Far Cry

If you just need to escape for a day to a tropical beach resort, then I whole-heartedly recommend a Crysis or Far Cry vacation depending on the specs of your gaming PC. Feel free to take a dip in the local beaches, but be sure to secure the beach first from the hostile North Koreans or the Triguns. Go hang gliding through the picture perfect valleys or, for the brave ones, go bridge jumping into Crysis’ crystal clear waters. Don’t swim out too far from shore, however. If the dropships or the offshore battleships don’t take you out, the sharks will.

Other attractions include:

• Skydiving
• Sea Turtle Watching
• Sea Turtle Throwing
• Riding dune buggies on the beach
• And more!

The Smash and Grab Vacation Package with Grand Theft Auto IV

Not everyone needs to escape to quaint villages, green countrysides, or exotic beaches for their vacation. Some prefer the hustle and bustle of city life as their temporary getaway. To them, I recommend a vacation with Grand Theft Auto IV and its DLC The Lost and Damned.

GTA IV’s main storyline offers gamers hours of playtime. Playing the side missions tacks on hours more. But GTA IV offers many different types of other activities too like:

• Drinking
• Bowling
• Throwing Darts
• Helicopter Tours
• Playing Pool
• Riding a Motorcycle in a Skate Park
• Watching Original Television
• Listening to the Original Radio Programming
• Original Comedy Skits by Ricky Gervais
• Female Entertainment (both legal and less-than-legal)
• Car Races
• Scavenger Hunts
• Stunt Jumps
• And More!

Anyone who wants to take off a few days from work and get lost in the crowds can do so with GTA IV.

The 15-Minute Vacation with Flower

Need a 15 minute vacation at the spa? Can’t afford the spa fees? Pick up Flower on the Playstation Network and let your stress melt away. With its gentle soundtrack and beautiful atmospheres, Flower is the perfect getaway package for only $10.

The N64 Retro Vacation with Goldeneye, Super Mario Kart 64, Super Smash Bros., and Tuork 2: Seeds of Evil

This final vacation package is perfect for anyone who doesn’t own a current generation game system. It requires 3 friends, beer, pizza, 3 working N64 controllers and 1 N64 controller with a limp joystick. By mixing up these four games every 45 minutes and adding in enough drinking and bullsh*t stories, it is guaranteed to make time just fly by. All your worries of your everyday work life will vanish into the worlds of James Bond, Mario and Turok. There are only 2 rules. First rule: winner of two consecutive games is forced to use the broken controller. Second Rule: no Oddjobs.

So… what is your ideal video game vacation package?