29 Jul

Sometimes games can do things that make you so angry you just can’t take it. We’ve all had these experiences, whether we were escorting some brainless AI through enemy fire or simply listening to your characters guiding fairy yell at you for twenty minutes strait. Here are the rest of our geeks tales of gaming rage in this second installment of Getting to Know Your Geek.

Robin Meijer (Staff Writer)

Usually, I consider myself to be a pretty relaxed fellow. However, there is one thing that can that can send me into an unstoppable Krogan-rage, and that is the occurrence of random deaths in 
multiplayer games. Unfortunately for me, when I play Call of Duty online, I generally experience long strings of seemingly random or (in my opinion) unfair deaths. It almost appears as if the game actively discourages players to think and do anything other than running around
 aimlessly waiting for someone to accidentally walk into their crosshairs. This in itself isn’t so bad: many other games like Quake, Halo and Unreal were highly successful in turning such Run ‘n Gun gameplay into something highly enjoyable. However, these games had one major difference… they didn’t bother pretending that employing tactics would be successful and in these games, you don’t die from two rounds to your left foot.

The problem I have with Call of Duty is that while the game seems to suggest that crouching and aiming down sights would be an advantage in terms of accuracy, the killcams I watch continuously seem to suggest otherwise. Players that rush into the room and start to empty their
 clips in my general direction still seem to have better odds of survival than I do if I am partially sitting behind cover, firing short bursts at their heads while aiming down my sights. Attempting to employ similar tactics never results in success… as whatever I do, whatever weapon I bring and how incredibly retarded I try to play, it always seems like my opponents outmatch my stupidity and spray harder,more randomly and are therefore more successful. If anger and rage indeed draw one to the Dark side of the Force, playing Call of Duty makes me turn into Darth Robin without a necessity for any further training.

COD is won by zerg

For some reason, the skillful will always lose to this guy.

Trevor Faulkner (Contributing Writer)

I have never been closer to strangling myself with a Wii nunchuck than when I tried to play Zack and Wiki. “Give it a try,” everyone told me, “It’s the most underrated Wii game out there.” Little did I know that this was going to be the gaming equivalent of watching the haunted VHS from The Ring.

The moronic trial and error puzzle system in Zack and Wiki could only have been made by Satan himself. You turned a crank counter-clockwise; you get eaten by snakes. You walk up some stairs too early; you’re crushed by a boulder. Need to get past that gorilla? Well I hope you deduced that you needed to bring some fire from the beginning of the stage that we gave no mention that you could or should interact with and as you slowly turn to backtrack the whole level, that’s right, a gorilla just snapped your neck. WHY!? Why must I work my way through a three minute puzzle for four hours just because I have to do every facet of the stage over and over again to trial-and-error perfectly while watching my retarded pirate avatar grunt like a horny ape for zero reward. Just hearing the words Zack and Wiki make me want to throw my Wii across the room, which would be easy seeing as it’s filled with nothing but children’s dreams and smiles.

Zack and Wiki

The best use of this tool is killing yourself.

Patrick Feng (Editor)

The game that really made the veins in my forehead pop out with rage was Tom Clancy’s Endwar and its voice commands. I have to admit, being a huge strategy and RTS fan, I was really psyched for this game because of the use of voice commands even though, honestly, it makes you sound like an idiot when your roommate hears you shouting orders to the TV. Once I started getting into the game, I was in for a rude awakening. Although some basic commands were able to register, I found myself having to manually click some of my units to redirect them to do what I had originally intended them to do because apparently I can’t speak. I started speaking with different accents just for fun to see how the game would react. If you have a thick Indian or Cantonese accent, the voice command would be a very bad feature for you.

So, I guess that defines me as a gamer. I’m not the type to force myself to finish a game just because it’s there. I do the same with books, television and movies. If I don’t like them, I close the book, turn the channel or eject the movie. Games are a source of stress relief to me and not the other way around.

This is what you are reduced to in Endwar.

Jesse Baguchinsky (Staff Writer)

Back in early 2007 when I was the owner of a shiny new Nintendo Wii, I decided to purchase Sonic and the Secret Rings because of the generally positive reviews. Expecting at least a decent adventure, I put the disk into my Wii and started it up. That is when the fury started. The story is a bastardization of The Arabian Nights where famous characters are replaced with characters from the Sonic series. That alone made me want to shut the game off and block all memories of it, but I pressed on. The structure of the mission select screen made little sense to me, so I just picked one and went with it and that is when I saw red.

To play this game you hold the Wiimote sideways. Sonic moves along a preset course, and it is your job to speed him up, slow him down and make him jump. A huge problem with this right off the bat is there are only three speeds: top speed, completely motionless, and reverse. This means that you will more than likely have to replay the levels over and over again until you memorize the location of every obstacle, gap and deathtrap because odds are you will be going too fast to react to them on your first play through. I threw down the Wiimote when I got to a section with moving spiked balls you had to jump over and run past. I could not get past that part for the life of me, and I promptly traded the game in thinking “if only they let me use the classic controller.”

Sonic and the Secret Rings

The problem with most Wii Games is in this picture.

Matt Paasche (Editor)

I have to be honest and say that although I am a bit of a completionist, my patience for bad design is either to great or not great enough. It was very hard to recall a moment in a game where I felt the amount of fury that the answer to this question deserves. In the end the only answer I could come up with was one where everything was entirely my fault.

The year was 2000 and I had just gotten Heroes III of Might and Magic. I was playing through the singleplayer campaign with great success. I was at the very last level when I had gotten a bit cocky and strayed too far from my home city with too many troops. As I was basking in the glory of having slain a squad of Black Dragons in order to attain a most powerful artifact, I noticed the rival teams top shot hero on my mini map, dangerously close to my home city. I immediately saved my game and set the course home. The rival hero, however, had a much easier route to travel towards my city, and ended up reaching it just before me (one turn). I had left about half of my army behind to protect the city and had the other half with me. The rival hero had a formidable force, but not one I couldn’t defeat if only I could gather my army. He won the battle for my home city with moderate losses. As the turn ended I was furious that I had lost half my army and home city, which I had spent over 10 hours to achieve. Motivated by anger I stampeded to the gates of my city to confront my nemesis. I had weakened his force during the last battle, but now he had the advantage of a fully upgraded castle with defensive positions, traps and turrets. After a long and tedious battle he once again emerged victorious, but only just. Frustrated I loaded the save I had made when he first appeared on my minimap and tried again, and again, and again, and again… After what must have been over 20 attempted I had exhausted every possible tactic I could think of. I had tried pulling my home army out of the castle to reunite them with my main hero. I had attempted different routes home in hope of reaching the city before he did. I had used up every single spell and tried all thinkable battlefield tactics. But nothing worked, I was so close to finishing the game and refused to give up. I remember being beyond frustrated that our forces were so evenly matched, yet victory was always miles away no matter what I did. Loading an earlier save was out of the question as it was almost 8 hours of game time back. It didn’t help that he was Undead either; one of the weakest factions in the game, just taunting me with his silly Skeleton Dragon thingamajigs. Bloody zombies!

Heroes 3 of Might and Magic

Nothing is more rage inducing than knowing someone played this game.

Eliot Hagen (Video Editor & Staff Writer)

As I mentioned in the comments on Part 1 of this feature, the segment of Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune with the upstream vehicle segment was absolute torture.  It completely destroyed the flow of the game and had me flinging profanities left and right.  But few things elicit a blue streak from me more than when I’m having a bad round in a Call of Duty multiplayer match. It’s at that point that I graduate to a new level of swearing and anger, making up one-syllable words to express my fury. Aside from that, fiendishly difficult games will always get a rise out of me. The rat race segment of Battletoads will always infuriate me–and I’ve yet to beat it–and there’s nothing like a wasted quarter in Ghosts n’ Goblins.

There you have it, professional geek’s tales of sheer gaming rage. I hope you’ve gotten to know us a little better, but if not it’s okay. Getting to Know Your Geek will be back next month to share more stories of geekyness. In the meantime, let us get to know you a little better. What was your biggest gaming rage moment?

25 thoughts on “Getting to Know Your Geek (Part 2)”

      1. Oh I know, don’t worry about it. It was really more because I noticed that I didn’t compliment the game in any way, and I didn’t want people to think I had a bad experience overall.

  1. It could have been Dante’s Inferno on Hard (damn golden corpses), maybe it was Slipknot or David Bowie on Amplitude, but it was probably CODWAW on Veteran mode. A few levels are terrible, and really had nothing to do with skill. If you die, it was usually out of your hands (like being surrounded by grenades). I wish I had never gone for that achievement.

  2. @Trevor the reminds me of a part from Gears of War. The first time you fight the Theron Guards when you’re planting the resonator underground, you have to go through a 2-3 minute sequence of just walking up to the temple and hearing some banter from Delta Squad. On Hardcore I had to replay this part about 20 times. All I have to say is: “DAAAYUMMMMMMM! Look at all that juice!” (Thanks Cole).

    1. Hey Marcus, how much do you think all that imulsion is worth?

      Yes… I’ve been through the same.

    2. I remember watching my girlfriend play Kingdom Hearts on the hardest difficulty. She got to that fight with Riku at Hollow Bastion and couldn’t beat him. Thankfully, the preliminary cutscene is unskippable and, to this day, all I can think of when someone mentions the game is:

      “Kiari’s inside me?”

      Thanks Disney… thanks.

      1. I never managed to get past the boss inside the giant whale. Gave it several tries on multiple occasions, but for some reason, I just can’t get the hang of it. What didn’t help either was the fact that most walkthroughs didn’t bother detailing that boss as they considered him to be one of the easiest bosses in the game…

  3. Trevor, I hate that level as well. Man I still can’t beat it cause I need to grab that bird or whatever (been a couple of years) to end the stage. The trial and error is annoying, but beating a puzzle is gratifying though.

    My Ultimate Rage though has to be with the Console Version of Bubble Bobble for the NES. Level 57 is the bane of my existence. There are two stupid Alien Invaders at the top of the screen that drop down two missiles at you, and you have to be super lucky to beat the stage, or get an umbrella to skip the level. The arcade version and Bubble Bobble Plus thankfully do not have this stupid level at all.

    1. Oh my god, I played the hell outta Bubble Bobble as a kid and I know exactly what you’re talking about. What’s terrible is that my skill at that game has declined horribly as I’ve aged.

      I might want to add that Virtua Fighter 4 for the PS2 actually made me break a controller with their “Dan” ranking tournament. Nothing is worse that fighting your way up to number 2 and then losing due two a ring-out or cheap shot (anytime fighting Lei-Fei) and having to start over. It was a good game with a terrible flaw, especially since completed that mode unlocked all the cool costume options.

  4. Right now, i’m raging pretty bad about the “great deal” Activision Blizzard is offering us lucky latinniggers by selling us 6 months of Starcraft 2 at full retail price.

  5. Right now, i’m raging pretty bad about the “great deal” Activision Blizzard is offering us lucky latinn1ggers by selling us 6 months of Starcraft 2 at full retail price.

    1. Yay, adult blocker isn’t impervious to h4x0r and tildes. Good day for cursing fúck5 yeah.

        1. Damn straight. I mean, i’d understand if the game wasn’t full retail price but charging us full price for 6 months and then calling it a “great deal” and “thinking about the Latin American consumerbase” is just insulting. Doesn’t ActiBlizz realize we DON’T have any money? That you can’t rip off people that wouldn’t buy your game in the first place? I’ve got plenty games in my plate after that 4th of July Steam sale so i can wait for the real edition. But after the MW2 MP fiasco, i’m not sure it’s worth buying ActiBlizz games.

          1. Yeah, here’s hopíng they don’t pull another stunt like this with Diablo. SC, eeeh, not that popular in Argieland but Diablo II…

  6. I’ve recently begun raging in Left 4 Dead when stupid teammates do stupid things that jeopardize the life of the team.

    1. Yeah I hate that a lot. I too do stupid stuff, but I am generally near my teammates at all times. Do not want to Leroy Jenkins things.

Comments are closed.