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DeathSpank Coming to PC This Month

06 Oct

Hothead Games has announced that it will be releasing the original DeathSpank through Steam on October 26th. It is unclear when the sequel to DeathSpank, DeathSpank: Thongs of Virtue, will be made available for this platform.

The original game, which was renamed to DeathSpank: Orphans of Justice after the sequel was released, is currently available for pre-order on Steam at a price of $13.49, which includes a 10% pre-order discount. Additionally, consumers are able to pre-order the “Shank and ‘Spank” pack, which includes both the original DeathSpank and Shank, a beat-’em-up that was developed by Klei Entertainment and released in August 2010. This package will be available at a price of $29.98, though consumers who pre-order it will receive a 15% discount.

DeathSpank: Orphans of Justice was released for Playstation 3 and Xbox 360 on July 13th, and was rated “Worth Buying” in our Elder-Geek Video Review. (more…)

Guitar Hero: Warriors of Rock Review

06 Oct

Author’s Note: Due to scheduling concerns, we were unable to test out the DS version of the game or the cross platform DS-Wii features. The following review thus pertains to the console versions only.

Down to one yearly release from last year’s five, a lot is resting on the bladed-shoulder pads of Activision’s Guitar Hero: Warriors of Rock. A more guitar, and story, driven experience than we have seen in the past, is there enough in this update to continue the franchise, or should we finally give our blistered palms a rest?

The first thing noticeable out of the gate is the back to basics approach to menu design, especially in the “Quest” narrative mode. A step back from Guitar Hero 5‘s streamlined interface, Warriors feels a bit antiquated compared to earlier installments, forcing nearly every change in gameplay or song selection to require a shift in menu presentation. Its definitely belabored, and for a franchise aiming for casual integration, its fair to muddied and confusing. Although, to be fair, it’s difficult to determine the game’s target audience at all.

It will take approximately two syllables to exit narrator Gene Simmons’ mouth to start missing Brutal Legend. The demigod of rock has lost his battle against The Beast, and must recruit eight of the most baddest of ass rockers to embrace the powers of rock to resurrect him to fight again. The melodramatic zest of the plot is more overbearing than charming, and plays out in an odd, character-centric fashion. For those that cared enough about Judy Nails and Johnny Napalm, recruiting them with genre-centric set lists and turning them into monstrous versions of themselves may be engaging, but the vast majority of players will be left stranded for a reason to care. It would be easy enough to ignore, if the entire game’s focus and design didn’t drain into it, forcing constant attention on its unappealing skivvies.

Not to say that the story does not stumble across moments of sheer brilliance, the epic mid-point of Rush’s seven part 2112 and the final encounter featuring the game-specific “Sudden Death” by Megadeth managing more legitimate fist-pumping thrills than the majority of the franchise before it. But for a quest so steeped in the Nordic realm of heavy metal, the 93-song set list feels completely out-of-place. Granted, the Neversoft and RedOctane have once again put together a varied list with cross-gen appeal on their final gig with the series, but a good 80% of the track list fails to gel with either the plot or the more guitar-centered gameplay promised before launch. It’s fun to play, but we’re pretty sure “Dance, Dance” by Fallout Boy is approximately 7,000 light years from the cool Warriors is going for.

One of the more intriguing changes to the chaffed music-rhythm formula is Warrior‘s addition of set list (and character) specific challenges/perks. The monstrous forms of each character come equipped with unique abilities, from having an ultimate star power multiplier of six instead of four to common sense gameplay extensions like getting stars from maintaining note streaks or star power for specified lengths of time. Each song now has the potential for 40 stars, and while on paper the addition seems ridiculous, the perks system proves engrossing almost immediately. A stroke of genius for a genre so dependent on replay value, the challenges increase each song’s potential end result many times over, adding just enough incentive for replays to deeper the music-rhythm habit. The additional challenges also carry over into the Quickplay + mode.

While the single-driven appearance of the set-list and story may give Warriors a single player vibe, the genre gameplay staples make their return in the game’s campaign suite. Guitar Hero 5‘s Party mode makes a return, as do both the cooperative and competitive multiplayer modes popularized in other past installments. GHTunes is also back, and just as frustratingly complex and practically useless as before. Needless to say, with practically invisible changes to track layout and match-making, it’s the same kinds of multiplayer options you’ve played before.

Warriors of Rock sticks one giant butch-biker boot in its mouth. The story is a shameful, and drastically inferior, knock-off of Brutal Legend, making Activision (who had the game in its grasp before losing it to lawsuits) look like a spiteful ex-lover. The minute changes to multiplayer will go unnoticed to all but the most anal retentive players (for good reason), and despite the excellent evolution of per-song challenges present across the board, Warriors of Rock is tough sell at full price. Still, as a rental, everyone can find at least 10 songs they’d enjoy to play through, which is about 10x as much as we could say for Guitar Hero 5.

Getting to Know Your Geek: Yatta!

06 Oct

After chasing the princess through what seems like hundreds of castles you finally find her and as the hulking turtle monstrosity tumbles into the inferno you take her into your 8-bit arms and embrace her. Such are the great moments where we realize that yes, we just did it. For this GTKYG we asked our esteemed writers what was a moment where they flung their arms into the air like Hiro Nakamura and wailed like Chun-Li: YATTA!

Jesse Baguchinsky Staff Writer
When I think of my greatest achievement in gaming I think back to my sophomore year of college when fellow Elder-Geek staff writer Trevor bought Phantasy Star Online for the Gamecube so we could play co-op. When we started we realized it was a grind-fest, so we kept replaying the first stage to level our guys up. After a while we became bored and decided to play the second stage just for fun, even though we were still grossly under leveled.

As we made our way through the stage we realized it was considerably harder than level one, but eventually we made our way to the teleporter that brings you to the boss room. We go through it and find ourselves floating down a river on a raft being followed by a giant snake dragon of sorts. Since neither of us had very good long range weapons, we had to whittle down its health with our pistols. The fight dragged on for around 45 minutes and we began to wonder if we were even doing damage to it. Finally, after quite a few close calls, we killed the monster, put down our controllers and breathed a sigh of relief. Needless to say we didn’t go right into stage three after that.

Over an hour and a ton of mono, di and trimates later, Trevor and Jesse fell De Rol Le, the sewer beast most epic. Don't flush your pets kids.

Kristie Barber Staff Writer
My greatest achievement as a geek was when I played the ENTIRE Legend of Zelda series in preparation for the release of Twilight Princess. I had never played any of them and my now fiance told me I HAD to. So starting in the summer months, I played through every game back-to-back. Then we did a straight run through of Twilight Princess. It. Was. AWESOME! And that was my birth as a hands down, full blooded, dedicated geek.

Props to Kristie. This is the fate of most people who try the "Zelda Challenge."

Oliver Surpless Staff Writer
Getting All Rainbow V’s on Viewtiful Joe on PS2 with Dante. This challenge involves a mastery of the game, requiring speed, perfect reflexes if you get hit, and knowing just how to defeat enemies in order to score the most points. All of these areas are necessary to get V’s (perfect) in each section of the game. Now just do for the entire game and you’ve beaten the challenge.

It was in this that I first learnt the value of video walkthroughs. For part of the challenge, I just read FAQ’s (wasted a lot of paper as well!) and it was tough to duplicate. Watching a run through, it was made much clearer on just what the character has to do to achieve the score.

So much fun and yet we'll never see him again...please see above picture for emotional reference.

Trevor Faulkner Staff Writer
Finger sweating, stylus breaking under the force of a thousand musical notes pulsing through my fingertips. Am I ready? 3-2-1-GO! Such was the constant assault attacking my DS for days on end from the rhythm game Elite Beat Agents. For over six months I pushed myself to the limit in a vigorous tap-happy extravaganza. Bowie, Jamiroquai and the Villiage People-I scoffed at your petty attempts to thwarts my agents selfless acts of choreographed heroism.

It wasn’t until I reached the final difficulty and took in the Elite Beat Divas that things got messy. Weeks of  frantic screen tapping ensued and I swear sometimes I still hear Jumpin’ Jack Flash in my head when I close my eyes. But I did it, I beat every single song on every single difficulty and the Chief gave me the biggest thumbs up I’ve ever seen. Agents are go, Chief…agents are go.

And there you have it Geeks, just a few of the crowning moments for us here at the E-G. So how ’bout you let us know what gaming moments made you shout victory toward the gates of Valhalla?

Geek Parents: How Much Social Awkwardness Will You Force on Your Child?

06 Oct

As I watched my friend fiddle with the tiny Yoda costume she was placing carefully on her two year old one Halloween, an astonishing thought occurred to me.  This child may grow up never even knowing who Yoda is.  The thought made me sad for a moment and then I remembered that her parents are time honored geeks and would likely force her to watch Episodes IV, V and VI at some point in her childhood as some form of rite of passage.  I was comforted by this thought, but then I got to thinking, what if this little girl simply has no interest in all things Star Wars?  Or worse, what if she finds episodes I, II and III to be way cooler?  It got me thinking about parenting as a nerdy couple.  My husband and I don’t have children yet, but our friends do and many times our conversations have turned to the degree of geekdom we will be forcing onto our children when the time is right.

The name of this site is Elder-Geek.  That doesn’t necessarily mean we’re all a bunch of decrepit assholes around here, but it does mean that we hail from an age where 8 bit was king and some of us have gotten married, gotten “real jobs” where we can’t wear geeky t-shirts, and a few of us are even spawning.

Most of us grew up on the introverted side of things.  While other normal well adjusted children were playing outside doing sport type things, running, being athletic and generally having any kind of hand eye coordination, we were shut up inside playing, playing Super Mario Brothers or A Boy and His Blob (don’t you judge me!) or reading comic books.  The only exercise we got involved our fingers and thumbs.

We love Toothpaste For Dinner and you should too.

We were not the popular children.  There were those children who never had an awkward phase, adorable 5th graders hand crafted by the gods themselves to be aesthetically all-American, pleasing to the eye with bright smiles, good hair and lots of those little generic valentines in their box on Valentines Day at school.  Yeah you know the kids I’m talking about: the kids that weren’t you or me.  Personally I’m wondering when this awkward phase ends.

What about our children?  Aside from the normal trials they will need to endure, they will not have parents that were socially accepted, athletic or even necessarily attractive.  Some of us never had dates, didn’t know what it was like to be on the homecoming court, never went to…what were those things called? “Pep rallies”?  We have no way of relating to our children should they decide to be the complete opposite of what we were.

My friends often speak of raising proud geeks (an oxymoron in the 6th grade), forcing them to stay inside and play video games while other children take up little league and other forms of “social” activities.  I have found myself agreeing that any future children I might have should come in the form of a mini-me.  The problem with this of course is that I was fucking miserable.  And forcing my child to go through something like that by making him or her be in the band, play video games, enjoy joking about how “stupid Data from Star Trek cannot use contractions” just seems cruel.

And then I think, what if my child is…popular?  Egads! What a horrible thought!  What if my non-existent daughter wants to join the cheerleading squad and go to football games and be on the Prom Committee?  What if my son turns into the jock, the jerky guy that gives swirlies to the kids that are just like his parents used to be?  I can never relate.  I can never understand.  And I can never forgive them.


My friends have a four year old daughter.  They introduced her to simple video games at a young age and as a result she can spend an hour playing Sealife Safari and be totally fine.  She also, unfortunately, likes to spend time outside…in nature, which makes it difficult for her parents to enjoy the things they once did.  My friend has yet to finish the first Mass Effect game because, well…she had babies.

But I digress. I would be interested to hear from all you gaming parents on what sort of philosophy you take to “geeking” your children.  Because I’m stumped as to the proper course of parenting.  Will they rebel against ten hours of forced Babylon 5 watching in the same way they would rebel against a parent intent on making them play soccer?  I’ve got it.  The rest of you have kids, raise them and then let me know.